Nomen omen, or: Is this a simulation?

Twenty twenty six. Now that we’re in a year that absolutely sounds like “the far future” to this Eighties baby, it seems like a good moment to mention something that’s been bugging me.

I’m not a believer in the simulation hypothesis.

But.

It’s weird how many major tech figures have names that seem like they were given by a not-very-subtle screenwriter.

• The guy who both ushered in a new personal computing age and created a walled garden with many barriers to free exchange of information and ideas: Mr. Gates *

• The guy who dominated an era by making quirky technologies central to both creative and economic value: Mr. Jobs

• The “make it addictive and don’t give a shit about how overindulgence is harmful” guy: Mr. Zuckerberg (Literally “sugar mountain” in German).

• One of the guys who developed the system for indexing and searching the billion or so webpages: Mr. Page

• The alluring but repellent overpromiser, who not coincidentally has over a dozen children and soured after a brief period of widespread respect and acceptance: Mr. Musk

• The one moving heaven and earth to develop viable alternatives to human capabilities: Mr. Altman. (That one’s extremely on the nose).

• And he’s not a tech figure, but the one who wins despite all the regular rules: Mr. Trump

There are probably three effects going on here. The first is the “nomen omen” phenomenon, also known as nominative determinism, whereby people are somehow drawn to jobs that “suit them.” The second is a reception phenomenon whereby you tend to remember appropriate cases, such as astronomy professor Alan Heavens. Most people you meet have no connection between name and job, but you sure remember the ones who do.

And the third is apophenia, the human tendency to find meaning in arbitrary situations. This means there’s more than one way to find a meaningful name/occupation connection. For example, Robbie Fowler could be an “appropriate name” for his actual job (aggressive soccer player), but the same name would fit a poultry farmer or maker of 20-gauge shotguns. As humans we want to find meaningful connections and will make them wherever we plausibly can.

Or we’re in a simulation and the writers are slipping. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

* This topic is worth another post, but “gate” is a sort of soft contronym - a lovely class of word that has two opposing meanings. It’s not as clear-cut as, say, “sanction”—which can mean both to approve something or to punish something—but the gate can be either an access point or a method of exclusion.